Asthma.. I hate you

I am tired of my body being a drama queen about allergens. You want attention drama queen? Then stop freaking out about little irritants and we'll work out more. Working out more we can ditch the weight we packed on from the multiple steroid treatments from the drama queen episodes. 

I wasn't diagnosed with exercise and allergy induced asthma until my teens. As a teen it rarely bothered me at all. I kept my inhaler for the 4-5 times a year I had an issue. I usually only needed it on days the PE teacher made us run the field when it was windy and full pollen season for pine trees. You could watch the clouds of pollen bursting off the trees as the wind hit them.

As I have gotten older and had more children my asthma has become a lot easier to trigger. I've never needed asthma maintenance medication before.  I am now on my second trial of medicine types. The unpredictable periods I got from taking Advair made me hate life as well as anemic. Getting your period every 4-5 days will do that to a woman. My doctor switched me to Singular pills and Qvar inhaler.  The Singular puts me to sleep within an hour of taking it. I can deal with going to sleep after taking my pills. The problem now is that the Qvar makes me have an asthma attack every time I use it. I am prescribed to take two puffs of Qvar twice a day.  Being that dependent on rescue treatments puts me back into the category of having uncontrolled asthma again.  Plus they have done nothing for me when I get triggered in the middle of the day.  Sitting in church if a woman with a strong flowery perfume sits too close, then I start wheezing. 

I really need to make another appointment, but I hate the whole doctor's office experience.  Sitting in the waiting room and wondering what illness is lurking on the chairs.  Last time my kids went to the pediatrician for shots we left with the stomach flu. I mostly hate going to the doctor as I am always afraid they are going to want to give me a shot or draw some blood. I REALLY hate needles.

Time to put on my big girl panties and just do it.  I really miss working out and with my asthma as bad as it is I can't even make it through the warm ups.

Mom Not Taking Care of Herself

As a mom I don't pay enough attention to my own health.  It was brought to my attention by my doctor that in 10 years I've seen a primary care doctor only two times.  All my other medical care has been pregnancy related in that time frame.

Now for the scary part of this blog post.  I have two questionable spots on my skin, one is a pinkish spot on my chest with a raised border and the other is a brown flaky spot on my arm.  After forcing myself to go to the doctor for my asthma I got a referral for a Dermatologist to check out this spot.(overpriced HMO hoop jumping)  I've had this spot for far longer than I should admit to, all while mostly ignoring it broken up by moments of panic during middle of the night hours when I can do nothing about it. (insomnia)

I don't know what the spot really is and google is not my friend. Skin Cancer! Just reading that possibility made me think back on all the many times I got a sunburn.  Living in Las Vegas for most of my life, I mostly ignored my skin as a kid. As I got older I applied sunscreen constantly.  It may not have been enough with the damage may have already been done.
As parents we need to impress upon our children the need to wear sunscreen and not just when we apply it for the pool like I was taught. It needs to be a healthy habit, just like brushing your teeth.

I finally made the appointment to see a dermatologist about the spot. The appointment is not for 3 weeks though.  With the end of the school year upon us I really struggle with making time for me. With only 2 weeks left in school my kids are starting to feel the struggle to pay attention and stay on task.

New Treatment for my Asthma

Warning!! This post has TMI  You were warned.
Recently I went back to the doctors for a new medicine to help manage my asthma. I loved how Advair helped kick my attacks out of my life.  The problem was the random bleeding.

There were times that in the middle of my cycle with no reason to bleed I would have horrible bleeding during sex.  Talk about a mood ruining freak out moment.  Kinda kills your sex life when you fear bleeding horrifically in the middle of it.

I ended up telling my doctor this during what is called a group visit.  You and 10 other people sit in a room and the doctor rolls around doing simple stuff. Things like referrals, Doctor notes, medications.  It's was great not having to put the horrible paper gown on. I felt like I got more care during this appointment than one where they have made me strip down and sit in a room alone.

Back to my new medicine.  I am now on Singulair and Qvar. Oh boy!  The Singulair leaves me sluggish and loopy for a few hours. It usually takes me about 6 hours to feel human again. I can deal with that side effect and adjust my time I take it. My asthma is improving!! My first night in months not waking up in the middle of the night with an asthma attack was the very first night I took it.

Out of control Asthma

I really need to go to the doctors for myself.  My asthma is not under control at all. It's hard to take time for me with so much going on in my life though.  As a mom to 5 kids I don't take good enough care of myself. 

We have had two bouts of croup in 2 months. Plus stitches in one chin. Then all three youngest have been sick with puking. Since going back to church regularly my kids have been sick a lot. I wish people would keep their outbreak monkeys at home. On top of medical emergencies we are moving soon. 

I need to find new options for my asthma treatment. I tried using Advair for my asthma but the side effects were bad.  It's not fun to have random bleeding as if menstruating every week. I need to see my doctor and find out other options to get my asthma under control. I'm back to using my breathing treatments multiple times a day. 

The Scariest Acid Reflux Diagnosis

I never knew how scary Acid Reflux can be.  I thought it was just like really bad heart burn.  Then it happened to Maxx.  He didn't have any issues with this as a baby.  That's why it came as such a shock.

It was the night of our 15th anniversary we had just settled in for the night.  When suddenly I hear a choking cry come from down the hallway.  I turn terrified to my husband.  It's Maxx again. He was gasping and clawing again.  We held him as we tried giving him a breathing treatment.  He was spitting frothy/slimy spit and wiping his mouth as if it was disgusting.  We believed it to be another asthma attack and followed what the doctors told us.  This time making the diagnosis a permanent part of his life.

I watched in horror as he struggled and screamed. Slowly his lips started to turn blue.  This was the moment I called for an ambulance. The wait for help felt eternal.  Before we were even in the ambulance the paramedic trainer said "oh yeah this is just another croup case."  The paramedics tried to make me ride in the front as Maxx was strapped in the back for the ride.  He lost it as soon as I disappeared from view.  I ended up riding the 10 miles strapped on the gurney in the back of the ambulance holding him. I argued throughout the ride that it just sounds wrong. There was a weird wheeze but no cough.   She told me that I didn't know what I was talking about and that she was the medical professional.  It was hard to silence my mom brain.  It screamed at me that this diagnosis was wrong.  I've been through croup, whooping cough and so many other childhood illnesses between my 5 kids. Croup would have responded to his breathing treatments.
 
I'll never forget sitting in that chair next to his hospital bed as he took breathing treatment after breathing treatment to get his breathing normalized.  Terrified that it was not working and they were not doing enough to help.

Maxx ended up being admitted to the Pediatric ICU.  I sat there as my normally active kid just lay there listlessly.  Pulmonary specialists were called.  They now said he may have been admitted with croup but it was not croup, because it was not responding how it should to croup medicine.  The wheeze was too high in his chest and he had no cough. They were now considering an asthma diagnosis.

With nurses in and out constantly taking note of his vitals I explained to Maxx that they were checking his numbers.  The numbers said how sick he was and when he got better numbers we could go home.  One visit late in the night as the nurse was adjusting tubes. He tilted his head back to watch the monitor with his "numbers" that was hanging just over his head behind the bed.  It was almost as if magic.  His horrible wheeze disappeared.  Before the nurse could rush out I pointed this weird phenomenon.  She had a confused look on her face and said to me "that's weird."  I demanded to see a doctor in his room now.

The doctor arrived and asked me to repeat what had happened as he listened to Maxx.  Sure enough the wheeze was gone when he looked up but back when he sat normal.  The doctor was stumped so he then called in the Pediatric Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist.  With the scope still down Maxx's nose the doctor announced, "Look at those acid burns, he has acid reflux not breathing problems."   The acid reflux had made his vocal chords swell to the point it was causing difficulty breathing.  This was long term damage. (even his tonsils had burn marks on them) I asked if this could be what was wrong when we were at the hospital 6 months before.  He said it was most likely the problem.  Not only was it missed by the hospital we went to for treatment but also by his pediatrician at his follow up appointment.

Now Maxx knows what food he can't have.  I've helped to educated him on what causes him to make excessive acid.  He refuses to eat chocolates, because as Maxx explains they make his tummy hurt his throat and make him not breathe.  Nothing like a scary trip to the hospital to scare your away from chocolate for life.  He is now on a daily dose of prescription Zantac.

I never knew this was even a possibility with Acid Reflux.  I never knew it could be so severe that it could actually swell his throat closed.      

The evil of Asthma... or is it?

One night in the early morning hours I lay there in bed struggling to force myself back to sleep.   Then I hear it... Maxx has woken up coughing this horrible cough. ( unlike croup or whooping cough) he crying as if in pain.   I rush to his room to find him clawing at his throat screaming in terror now.

I rush Maxx to my room and get a nebulizer treatment started.  Believing this to be another episode of something in  This isn't his first time using a nebulizer.  (Bronchiolitis in the past). The difference this time.. He wants nothing to do with it and starts screaming louder.  As I have him sitting in my lap he is biting at me, scratching and starts to spin like a gator.  I wake my husband in the worst possible way by yelling "Help me!" Over our child's screams. ( how he slept up to this point I don't understand)

I watch as my husband calms him to take a treatment.  My poor  husband is an old pro at breathing treatments having had them himself from the time he three.  I see the guilt in his face as he blames himself for passing this lung disease to our boys.

We rush him to the hospital.  On the way there his breathing calms, I start thinking they will say I am overreacting and send us away.   His breathing is still not normal, with a strange rasp.

I carry him into the emergency room.  As I approach the nurse station tears start streaming down my face as I remember what it felt like for me having my first asthma attack at the age of 12.  I thought I was choking on a chip during lunch while at school. One minutes I was coughing, the next I had blacked out and my friends were helping me to the nurses office as I clawed at my neck trying to get air.

As I approach the desk, I blurt out, "Please help my son.. I think he's having an asthma attack."  The three guys at the station take one look at me and rush us through check-in.

I'll never forget the hours after that with the many medical professional standing outside that glass walled room staring at us like a specimen on a slide. Not talking to us, for the most part just scaring the crap out of me.

I look back now and wonder is it my fault they diagnosed Acute Asthma attack since that is what I came in crying.  Why had no one looked in his mouth or at his throat?  If they had looked back then would they have seen the damage? It was very visible once we finally got our true diagnosis 6 months later in an even scarier incident.  Why had his pediatrician not seen this at his checkup between these incidents?  My faith in the medical community is not as strong as they once were. It just feels like educated guessing.  Too many times it's without even finding out all the facts first.

Weight Loss Sabotage

I was doing great on my workouts. Julian Michaels was thoroughly kicking my sorry hide into shape. A shape I was beginning to really enjoy seeing. Then it happened...

Aunt Flo finally reared her ugly head after 6 months of no Postpartum visits. She arrived with all the evil excess baggage of migraines, bloating, cramping, sleeplessness, mood swings and feeling perpetually tired. I really did try to stick with working out, but after the first day I thought I was going to need some sort of hospitalization just to recover.

Then once I finally got Aunt flo and all her extra baggage out, I got sick. Not just a little sick either, no.. I am an overachiever and get a lingering chest cold that made me want to drag myself to the doctors for. Which was understandable since I ended up having my first asthma attack in years, but thankfully we still keep a rescue inhaler for that type of emergency. I hate the doctors though, they always want to poke me with needles and rarely do they only stab me once. All that poking and prodding would be for nothing, because I am breast-feeding and couldn't take most medications to help ease any of the symptoms without affecting my milk supply or flat-out being dangerous for my son. A visit to the doctors would be pointless and just be atrocious on top of me already feeling miserable. Instead I drank my orange juice, stayed hydrated, and tried to take it easy.

Back to the weight-loss saboteur sidekick, my dear sweet loving husband who isn't the most helpful when trying to lose weight. Sure he is a great workout buddy, but when it comes to healthy snacking it's a disaster. During this past month he has brought home ice cream sandwiches for me. (He's Lactose intolerant so none of them are for him.) Sure, they are the Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches but that is a slippery sugary slope for me. Then next it was the Twix ice cream bar and more ice cream sandwiches. Which turned into a daily iced coffee instead of it being a weekly treat. Sweets are my weakness. Maybe he's being sneaky and vindictive after I silently giggled at him for never again attempting the 30 day shred after that first workout. Nah, he's not that spiteful and he is enjoying the results of my workouts too.

So, back to the 30 day shred I go. Maybe I'll switch it up a few days with the Zumba workout my mother's group has talked about. Back to the grind! Those goal jeans have been taunting me from the bottom of my dresser. No more self sabotage.

I love you honey, but no more ice cream sandwiches to say you love me, a hug and the real words are better for my waistline.