One Nutty Mama: Relationship

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

30 Days of Thankful (Day27)

My 30 Days of Thankful

Day 27

I am thankful for my parents. They gave me a great example of how to make a marriage succeed throughout many years. Growing up I was surrounded by friends trying to survive their parents' divorces. I was the odd man out, my parents were still married to each other and it was their first marriage. At times admitting that I was looked upon like a freak of nature.

That was why in my wedding vows I wanted the words. "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder." We vowed before I wedding day that it would be forever. That no matter what the issue we would work through it. On my wedding day both my husband and I forgot to tell the minister. When the moment came and the minister said those words we both believed that the other had remembered to tell him.

I learned from my parents that having a successful marriage didn't mean that you would never fight. It meant that there were times you would fight but you had to fight fair. Don't say things in anger that will injure your loved ones soul. Hurtful words from someone you love injure far deeper than from an enemy. I was once told by my Monster In Law that in a real true relationship there would never be fights. ::eyeroll:: If you never fight than neither of you care enough about the outcome to want to fight for it. Apathy is not welcome in a healthy marriage. (good thing I wiser than to take marriage advice from a two time bitter divorcee)

You must learn to communicate your needs and wants. Unless you are lucky enough to marry a mind reader.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!! 41 years together!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Loving by the Dozen

Twelve years ago my husband and I were standing at the altar ready to embark on our life together. Through the years we have experienced a lot of ups and downs. In many ways the trials of life could have driven us apart but we strived to make it bring us even closer. It hasn't been all sweetness and rose petals though. I will be one of the first to admit that for a marriage to work it requires you to work at it. I'm not saying every moment needs to feel like work, but there are times when you have to put work into your marriage to keep things running smoothly. Just like a rare orchid a marriage needs loving attention, tender care and hard work to keep it flowering beautifully and not wither away.

Tips for a healthy happy marriage

Say I love you everyday. It shouldn't stay unsaid. Those words are better spoken than assumed it known.
Always part with a hug and kiss because you never know when it will be the last time.
Use every chance you get to casually touch each other. (any touch of the hands in passing, a brush of the nape, or a hand on the knee) Any little touch to reconnect or stay connected.
Fight fair. No name calling, and always apologize for words said in anger. ( I have trouble with this one. I have a REALLY short fuse.)
Take the time to let your spouse know how much you appreciate what they do. If it is working long hours to support the family or take out the trash even when you had to ask. A little appreciation goes a very long way.
Get to know each other again. Ask questions as if you were on your first date. If you had one week with no responsibilities, no family, no friends, no work what would you do with it? You might learn something you never knew.
Speak up when you need something from the other person. Just because you have been together so long and it seems like you think the same doesn't mean they know your every thought and need.
Make them feel like an important part of your life everyday not just on the special occasions.

These are just a few things that I try to do to keep my marriage strong. There are many more things you can do. If you have any good tips to keep any relationship going strong I would love to hear them.