Lingering sickness

This has been a miserable two weeks for me.  It started with outbreak monkeys coming back from Outbreakland with their own special illness.  It didn't take long er for it to circle the house.  The kids all got over their colds within 2-3 days.  My husband claims to still have his cold. ::eyeroll::  Don't get me wrong.. I love him but when you can take medicine and don't... then whine about not feeling good, I could spork you in the eye...  I am still currently breastfeeding with no plans to stop anytime soon, so my options on medicine are greatly limited.

It's no surprise(to me) that my illness progressed beyond the nasty sounding cough into full blown Sinusitis, with loss of taste, smell and even hearing.  I was ok with this.. until the earache made me wish to trade the cold for unmedicated child birth of a porcupine.  After a night of less than 2 hours of sleep total I was beyond angry at the world.  When you find yourself visualizing donkey kicking your sleeping spouse out of bed because they are sleeping peacefully, time to get yourself to doctor.

I can't be sick.. who will do the virtual schooling.  Not my husband.. he is still acting like he's dying ::fake cough::  This has been the one HUGE drawback to homeschool.  When I get sick there is no shipping them off to school as I lay around in my pj's and nap on and off til they get home. (as if that is possible with the destructive duo anyway)

I have been begging for a nap for the last week.  As I type this my husband lays napping ::holds spork menacingly::  Another annoyance is he smokes... You lose all privledges to whine about a cough when you smoke... sorry but you do that to yourself jackass.  I have no sympathy for smokers.. sorry I didn't marry him as a smoker and hate that he became one.  Feels like a bait and switch.. bastard.

So for those men out there.. SUCK IT UP!  Don't expect better care when you are sick than you give when you spouse is sick.  Thinking about buying tissues when you go to the store for yourself isn't the same as actually buying her tissues.

No sick days and no naps!

Motherhood is one of the most rewarding endeavours of my life, but the most challenging too.


As a chef I've done 26+ hours on my feet in various banquets and thought that was difficult.  That still does not compare to the complete exhaustion felt during a feeding frenzy/breastfeeding marathon.  Or caring for a sick child who stays up all night only to wake early and cranky the next morning.


The lack of sleep is something you can never prepare yourself for.  Even now that my youngest is 1 year old he still does not sleep through the night.  Small children are so adept at the use of sleep deprivation that they must be trained by the CIA or maybe it is the CIA that took their training from a small child... 


It's been months since I have gotten more than 4 hours of sleep at night.  I am reaching the point where my body and mind are beyond exhaustion.  I cannot sit in a comfortable chair (any solid surface) for too long or find myself nodding off, only to startle awake in horror at the possibility of what my children could have done in the minutes I dared to allow my exhaustion to take over.


When morning sickness strikes, as I curl around the porcelain throne trying to keep my toes from coming up I don't get a break.  As a mom I get children at the door asking what's for lunch or shoving random things under the door. If am am lucky enough to have been able to lock the door before retching that is.  When I do not get the door locked I get two small children either making gagging noises behind my back as they tell me I am gross or get to experience the joy of fighting little hands away from playing in the toilet as I continue to dry heave.  To add insult to injury they sometimes just stand there. Their little fingers pointing at me as they laugh at the gross noises and faces I make as I expel what was the only meal I was naive enough to think I would be able to keep down.


With that wonderful puking episode that hit both my youngest kids now passed on to the oldest, I am praying these outbreak monkeys of mine don't get me sick.  I am the last person in this house that can be sick.  I get no sick days.  There is no one that will step in and do everything that needs to be done if I am too sick to move.  Sure the family wont starve and I'm mostly sure the house wont burn down.  I can guarantee that if I don't do it then it wont get done.  Laundry would be left to sit in the washing machine molding away because I didn't tell someone to do something about it.  The feral animals that I call my family would eat from every random container they could find rather than run the dishwasher.


Yes, I know how lucky I am to be a stay at home mom.  I get to spend time with my children.  Just know that all that time is not all kisses and unicorns.  I get never taking a moment off from being mom.  Being always on shift.   When someone calls out I have to answer the call. If left to dad (sorry hun I love you but this is true) shit just doesn't get handled unless distinct directions are left.  There are days I would happily switch lives with my spouse. To leave the house for up to 12 hours a day and not have to be the one to do homework, diapers, and constant death watch.  (is it just my kids or do all kids try to find new and dumber ways to attempt to kill or maim themselves?)

Mama Needs a Break

All weekend I was ready to lock myself in the bathroom and just marinate in a bubble bath with a long book until after bedtime has passed.  Have you ever had one of those weeks when everything hits you at once?  This is that time for me.  The week before last just set the stage for the crappy week that was this week with the seemingly never ending sickness with my two youngest.  Nothing like having to play nurse for two outbreak monkeys with a chest cold that don't have the social graces not to cough directly in your face.  I'm shocked I didn't come down with a worse cold than I did. It must be the minor immunity I acquired from having been through this unhygienic stage with my oldest two.

Just as Maxx's cold went away teething hit him full force and he's been taking it out on me ever since.  I've lost count how many times he's attempted to bite my shoulder through my clothing while in the middle of a meltdown.  (even with baby sign language they still happen)  He is drooling non stop so every shirt I wear is covered in slobber.  I've gotten to the point I've considered donning a bib or smock to protect myself.  He's been so clingy that I haven't used the restroom alone in over a month. (I'm beginning to forget what the bathroom looks like with the door closed.)

My older girls come home every week with another school project due.   Not just normal projects but ones that are under a short deadline thanks to their lack of planning and poor communication with their teachers.  I may offend someone with this but I hope you'll accept this apology now.  Male teachers at a elementary level suck at communication with parents.  When projects are assigned in a female teacher's classroom you get a packet of paper sent home describing in detail their requirements and even examples of work that is acceptable. With the male teachers you get a piece of paper that your child dictated from the teacher verbally explaining what they expect. (good luck, understanding it if you have a child like mine that doesn't learn well only verbally) Since they rotate classes (to prepare them for middle school) the students only have 1 hour to get their daily classwork done and take notes for any projects.  Another pet peeve of mine is that male teachers are less imaginative on project ideas as well.  My 5th grader did the same exact reading project that she did in fourth grade and that her fourth grader sister did not even a month before.

If only that was all that was swirling on my mind I could handle this like every other day.  Add to the fact that we will be moving soon and I feel like a complete nut job.  It's not that my husband isn't helpful, he just doesn't understand the full aspect of what needs to be accomplished.  He is under the false belief that we can just toss everything in a few boxes and be ready.  After living here for over 3 years and adding another person to the family we have so many things to sort out. We don't need to drag broken kid toys, clothing that doesn't fit or random papers along with us.  Then there is the matter of actually finding a place for us to live.  I've been the one to choose where we live with almost every single move we have ever done in the history of our marriage.  It wouldn't be so overwhelming if he didn't expect us to move closer to his work, but at the same time it is important to be close to the kid's schools, shopping, and doctor's office. (We live less than a mile from all this right now, minus being close to his work. Which is the main reasons I loved living where we live now. )

I wish I could fast-forward time to when we are moved in to our new place.   I hate this in between feeling.  I can't even place any orders online to have anything shipped since we are so close to moving and I would risk it not making it here in time due to horrible weather everywhere but here.

Super Powers of a Mommy

Every kid fantasizes about having super powers.  As a child if offered any super power of my choice I would have picked the ability to fly.  Yes, even though I hate flying in airplanes and am terrified of heights.  I still wanted to soar with the birds.

Now that I am a mommy many times over my choice would be drastically different.  I wouldn't hesitate to choose the ability to absorb any injury or illness from my children into myself.  Even if using this power would leave me with their affliction and would only work on my own children.  A bit of a selfish choice, I know, but if you had experienced what I went through last night you would understand.

Maxx wasn't feeling well and was letting me know his displeasure very thoroughly.  He spent all day hooked to me.  I was not allowed more than 6 inches from him all day or night, but still didn't nurse as often as normally. I put him in the Moby Wrap skin during the day and that helped him get some sleep.  After he woke from a nap in the Moby Wrap he would be back to nursing normally again.  Once bedtime came it was another nightmare, he tossed and turned, waking up hourly and fussing at the breast.  His fever would spike every time he fell asleep which would then make him too hot to stay comfortably asleep.  After hours of crying (both him and me) we ended up in a bath together at 4 am.  After getting out it gave us 3 blissful hours of uninterrupted sleep before the alarm blasted us awake just in time to get his oldest sisters off to school.

To make matters worse Maxx isn't the only one that is ill in the family.  Nadia is sick as well but luckily she responded well to mucinex. (no fever only a cough and nasal congestion)  Thank goodness they are feeling much better today.  Just in time for the oldest, Lauryn, to come home with complaints of a sore throat, runny nose and coughing.  That's what I get for bragging about spending the entire previous year with the everyone in house being illness free.  Either we have one wacky cold hitting everyone differently or three different outbreak monkeys loose in my house.  Time to get out my UV-C light sanitizing wand and go nuts with it.


If you were given the choice of any super power you would think of what would you choose?  Is it different than what you would have picked as a child?