As a chef I've done 26+ hours on my feet in various banquets and thought that was difficult. That still does not compare to the complete exhaustion felt during a feeding frenzy/breastfeeding marathon. Or caring for a sick child who stays up all night only to wake early and cranky the next morning.
The lack of sleep is something you can never prepare yourself for. Even now that my youngest is 1 year old he still does not sleep through the night. Small children are so adept at the use of sleep deprivation that they must be trained by the CIA or maybe it is the CIA that took their training from a small child...
It's been months since I have gotten more than 4 hours of sleep at night. I am reaching the point where my body and mind are beyond exhaustion. I cannot sit in a comfortable chair (any solid surface) for too long or find myself nodding off, only to startle awake in horror at the possibility of what my children could have done in the minutes I dared to allow my exhaustion to take over.
When morning sickness strikes, as I curl around the porcelain throne trying to keep my toes from coming up I don't get a break. As a mom I get children at the door asking what's for lunch or shoving random things under the door. If am am lucky enough to have been able to lock the door before retching that is. When I do not get the door locked I get two small children either making gagging noises behind my back as they tell me I am gross or get to experience the joy of fighting little hands away from playing in the toilet as I continue to dry heave. To add insult to injury they sometimes just stand there. Their little fingers pointing at me as they laugh at the gross noises and faces I make as I expel what was the only meal I was naive enough to think I would be able to keep down.
With that wonderful puking episode that hit both my youngest kids now passed on to the oldest, I am praying these outbreak monkeys of mine don't get me sick. I am the last person in this house that can be sick. I get no sick days. There is no one that will step in and do everything that needs to be done if I am too sick to move. Sure the family wont starve and I'm mostly sure the house wont burn down. I can guarantee that if I don't do it then it wont get done. Laundry would be left to sit in the washing machine molding away because I didn't tell someone to do something about it. The feral animals that I call my family would eat from every random container they could find rather than run the dishwasher.
Yes, I know how lucky I am to be a stay at home mom. I get to spend time with my children. Just know that all that time is not all kisses and unicorns. I get never taking a moment off from being mom. Being always on shift. When someone calls out I have to answer the call. If left to dad (sorry hun I love you but this is true) shit just doesn't get handled unless distinct directions are left. There are days I would happily switch lives with my spouse. To leave the house for up to 12 hours a day and not have to be the one to do homework, diapers, and constant death watch. (is it just my kids or do all kids try to find new and dumber ways to attempt to kill or maim themselves?)
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